Trials

We have 2 families in our ward that are truly struggling with some pretty terrible trials. One is a woman who just lost her husband to cancer. Her children are all grown so he didn't leave behind a young family but I cant imagine the pain and sorrow she is experiencing. She will be alone. She has just lost her whole world. I know she is strong and has faith. But how do you move on from something like that? I watched my Dad somewhat after my mom passed away, I don't live close to him so I didn't see a lot of what he was going through. But I did see the books piled on my moms side of the bed so it would feel like there was someone there. I have watched him become bitter, angry and almost a recluse. When I was growing up, the example he and my mom set for us kids was you took a calling and served to the best of your ability. He says no to callings or says if I was called to that, I would say no. He wasn't like that when my mom was alive or if he was, my mom hid it from us. What will become of my cute friend Linda? Will she turn to the Lord even more? Will she be able or want to stay in her house? She is one of the most amazing beautiful women I know. She just makes you feel comfortable and loved just being in her presence.

The other family has had their lives turned inside out. The dad is going to be going out of town for a very long while and the mom will be taking care of the kids, house and everything all on her own while he is gone. She is so angry and overwhelmed. She doesn't know where to start or what to do. She is questioning if her Heavenly Father even loves her.

Trials are so hard. They question your faith. They come at you and you feel as if at any moment you will shatter into a million pieces or even worse that you will just disappear and no one will even notice or care. Sometimes its hard to not give up on life. To just stay in bed and cry your eyes out or sleep, sleep, sleep. If you are asleep, you cant feel anything right?

And then you look at other peoples trials and are so thankful for the trials you have been given instead of theirs. I am so glad I have the injuries I have from my accident instead of losing my husband to cancer. Or having to be alone and do EVERYTHING myself. I am thankful for my trials because I sure wouldn't want to experience some of the things I see happening.

And the funny thing about trials.... is that when they are over and you realize they haven't killed you, sometimes you can look back and see that they were really a blessing in your life and that you grew so much. And then sometimes you thank Heavenly Father for them. Maybe not soon after. But I think sometimes you are able to gain that perspective. You wouldn't want to do it again, but you are thankful and made it through.